More Babies and God's Blessings

I had great fun over Memorial Day, because I got to see my friends Dawn and Lyndsey and play with their little boys. I had so much fun being around them, their husbands and family, and of course, their baby boys. I hadn't seen Austen in about 2 weeks and it is amazing how much he has grown. It's been even longer since I saw Jackson and he keeps getting bigger, too. I am so thankful that both of my friends have time to be mom's and not worry about hurrying back to the workplace. This is such a treasured time and they do grow and change fast!

Being around them makes me long for a family of my own. It was so nice to hold them, help them to feel safe, and ease their crying. I don't know about poopy diapers, yet, but I suppose if they are my own child's, I wouldn't mind. I actually looked online at a potential online dating service. A part of me thinks I'm feeling really desperate. But, that is how Dawn met Scott and he is an amazing guy. Both Dawn and Lyndsey found amazing men to be their husbands. I hope I will have that blessing in my life (preferably sooner rather then later) someday.

Work continues to be challenging. I have experienced several anxiety attacks this week from feeling so overwhelmed. I would like to blame part of it on hormones. I feel more sane today, but we will see how long it lasts. Right now, I am in bed on the computer (obviously, if I am blogging) and my boys are taking naps. Agape is in the chair by the desk and Dante is laying next to me. I worked out in my garden this afternoon after I got home. I mowed the front lawn (YUCK!) and weeded (another YUCK!), but it makes everything look so pretty. It was really windy this afternoon and between the wind and sweat, I had to take a shower. Now I smell like Arbonne's Unwind, which if you've never smelled before, you are missing out. I've been enjoying cheese and crackers with wine, too. Overall, I feel this was a satisfactory day. I feel a sense of calm, which is always welcome.

Whenever I feel this good inside, I always think to thank God for his many blessings. I cherish these moments as they don't occur too often in life. It's so easy to get busy and caught up in things that I forget to thank God for the little things - things like a garden, my cats, a warm bed, a good glass of wine, and air conditioning when the wind makes it impossible for your allergies to stay under control. It's times like these that I think about all God has done for me and I am in awe. There is a song that Aaron Shust sings called "My Savior, My God" that puts life into perspective. He sings, "That He would leave His place on high. And come for sinful man to die". I am overwhelmed at the thought of a great prince, leaving his kingdom to sacrifice himself so that I too, can become a princess in that kingdom. There is nothing special about me that would make him want to share his kingdom with me, but he does it anyway. He does it because he loves me, even though I don't deserve it. WOW! God's love for me, for all of us, is so amazing and incomprehensible. We rarely love someone without strings attached. We often can't tolerate it when a person keeps wronging us again and again. We can only stand betrayal so many times before we wash out hands of a person. Yet, God takes us back time and time again and he keeps loving us, even though we betray him, we curse him, we flaunt other lovers in front of him. I don't get it, but I am thankful for it.

These are the rest of the lyrics to the song by Aaron Shust, "My Savior, My God"

I am not skilled to understand

What God has willed, what God has planned

I only know at His right hand

Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed

Christ died to save me; this I read

And in my heart I find a need

Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high

And come for sinful man to die

You count it strange, so once did I

Before I knew my Savior

Chorus:

My Savior loves, My Savior lives

My Savior's always there for me

My God: He was, my God; He is

My God is always gonna be

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring

My strength, my solace from this spring;

That He who lives to be my King

Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high

And come for sinful man to die

You count it strange, so once did I

Before I knew my Savior

Chorus:
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
My Savior loves, My Savior lives

My Savior's always there for me

My God: He was, my God; He is

My God is always gonna be

Tomorrow

So, I have this meeting I am dreading tomorrow. It's a meeting about someone in my program at work. It took me a while to figure out why I get so mad every time I think about it. I finally figured it out. I feel like this meeting is merely a way to try and pacify me, like they really care about this person and want to make things better. I feel like I am going to go into this meeting, speak my opinion (and a trained professional opinion), and it will fall on deaf ears. I don't think they really plan on doing anything tomorrow and they will only allow a very unhealthy situation to persist in the life of this person I work with. I feel so powerless and helpless. I feel like it doesn't matter what I do to help, it won't make a difference. I HATE feeling powerless and helpless. I struggle with in a way that brings out the lion in me. I get very edgy, irritable, and am prone to fits of temper when I feel this way. If people really want to see me mad, this is the best way to make me feel. I hope and pray I don't lose it tomorrow. I hope and pray they can grasp the situation and not be "idiots" like I think they sometimes act.

Quiet Evening

I had quite the day today. I went out with one of the people serviced in my program and we played tennis. We had a good time, but I was absent minded and forgot the sunscreen. My arms got burned. They aren't too bad, but any burn isn't good for you. We then went out to lunch and talked politics and religious symbolism in movies. It was quiet lovely. When I got done, I made some phone calls and then headed out to Gulley's Gardening Center and bought some flowers. I got home and watered the yard, took a shower, and promptly fell asleep, despite my attempts at resisting.
My cat, Dante, is now trying to make it difficult for me to type by laying on my chest and left arm. However, I had both hands on the keyboard and I can still go at it. Oops! He got offended that I was paying more attention to typing then him. Sorry, Bubbie.
Oh, yes, I should tell you what flowers I bought today. I bought some yellow and white gazania's. These are really cool because they have purple around the center. I got three different colors of petunias, a Lantana, 2 things of violas for the front porch, some basil and dill, columbine seeds, moss rose seeds, and I think California poppy seeds. No, no, I'm not going to grow poppies and make opium! YAH! :)-
I was so tired tonight, I just watered them and let them be. I will plant them either tomorrow night or the next. I am so excited to see my flowers grow and bloom. My cacti are getting buds. Normally, I think they are a big nuisance. I would not have thought of putting them in my garden, but the previous owners put them there. However, when I first saw them bloom, I was blown away. The flowers are absolutely gorgeous. One has yellow flowers and the other pink. My red yarrow is about to start blooming and the yellow is already in full force. A lot of my succulents are also blooming. I will have to take some pictures and post them. My rock garden flowers are also blooming. My lavender has doubled in size and is developing flower buds. My columbine has multiple flowers on it. Oh, I just love it all.
I am seriously thinking of having a brunch at my house, outside, for my providers. We will see. I just want to have time on my porch and enjoy other people. At the very least, I should have my girlfriends and their adorable babies come over. I am also thinking of having a tea party. I love tea parties and things associated with tea. I promise not to make it too girlie, Dawn. :)
Well, I should check a few things for work, since I will be at a training in the morning and then a Good Shepherd Employee Recognition event in the afternoon. Both are in Denver. It should be fun, but it does make it difficult to get things done. Oh well, I will just enjoy what I can. If I constantly worry about how much I have to complete, I won't enjoy days like today and tomorrow.

Allergies and Gardening

Well, the fallen nature of the world has struck yet again. My allergies have been horrible on an incredibly beautiful day. I love to open up my house or be in my garden, but today the house stayed shut up and the AC on because I felt like keeling over from my allergies. By the time I got back from work (which involved a home visit in the Livermore area and a home visit in Fort Collins) my eyes were about to drive me mad. I finally broke down and bought some Benadryl. I got home, changed into my pajamas, washed my face, put in eye drops, took some Benadryl, and promptly took a nap. I feel much better now. No more itchy eyes or runny nose. My throat still hurts a little, but it's tolerable.
It's horrible not being able to enjoy the beauty and splendor of God's creation when all you want to do is scratch your eyes out. I was in the mountains today and the whole way up and back down, I didn't really enjoy the scenery since my eyes bugged me so much. I don't even know what makes me have an allergic reaction. I never had allergies until 10 years ago and then they just hit me and hit me hard.
I'm going to be outside part of tomorrow, too. Hopefully, my allergies aren't too bad or I may have to cut my excursion short. Thursday, my job is having an employee appreciation celebration at the Hudson Gardens. I've never been there and I hope itchy eyes and runny noses don't ruin the event for me. I love flowers and the immense variety that is out there. God certainly did create art all around for us to enjoy. I am so thankful he has given me an appreciation for these things.
Speaking of gardens, I planted seeds this weekend. I'm on a tighter budget this summer, so I had to do more seeds than actual plants for my garden. I planted Morning Glories (my all time favorite), Larkspur, Canterbury Bells, a fun and bizarre mixture of purple and green flowers, and zinnias. I still need to buy some plants, too. I need to get some herbs (basil and dill), some pansies for the front porch, gazanias, petunias, and maybe some violas. I also need to buy a trellis for my morning glories to climb. I did some rearranging in my yard, too. I have great plans for my garden, but it will have to come in spurts. Landscaping and plants are not cheap! My goal is to have some ferns, Lily of the Valley, and Bluebells in the shady part of the house where you leave the backdoor and then go into the garage. I want to have tulips and German Irises, too. I think I will ask my parents if they can dig up some of my grandma's irises so I can have a piece of her in my garden. Grandma's irises are a very strong and pleasant memory for me. I also want to plant some mums, so I have color in the fall. I have some seedum (I think that's what it's called) to buy for some empty spaces next to the ones already flourishing in my garden. Then I need to get some Rose of Sharon bushes and maybe a lilac hybrid (so it stays short) for the area in front of my deck. I need to re-finish the deck, but I feel hesitant to do it myself. One, I'm not sure how to do it well and two, last time I was around treated lumber, my throat started to swell shut (fun!). I don't know if I will have the same kind of reaction if I re-treat or re-stain the deck. Anyone know of any inexpensive service that would do this for me? Anyway, it's pretty obvious that I have big plans for my backyard. I want a lovely oasis where I can sit and read or just daydream.

Babies, Babies, Babies

Hooray! All the babies I was expecting to meet in the past couple of months have arrived. Lyndsey and John had little Jackson. He was born on March 14. Here are some pictures of me with Jackson and one with Lyndsey, Jackson, and me.

The next baby born was to Dawn and Scott. Austen entered the world on April 26. Here are some pictures of this cutie-pie and one with Austen, Dawn, and me.

Lastly, my cousin Lindsay and her husband, Eric had their little girl on May 9. Her name is Mira (pronounced Meera). I don't have as many pictures of her yet, since she hasn't been with us as long as Jackson and Austen. But here are a few of this precious girl.

Another Baby

Well, the last baby of my two month trio was born early this morning. My cousin, Lindsay, had a healthy little girl. She weighed in at 8 pounds and was 21 inches long. I got to hold her tonight and she is precious. I will post some pictures later on.
The other two babies recently born are doing well, as well as the new parents. It's funny, when I was showing pictures of Austen to my regional director he pinpointed one of me with Austen. He commented, "That's a picture of a mommy wanna a be." I have to agree with him. I would love to have the opportunity to experience pregnancy and raising a child. It is a thrilling prospect to me. Alas, I don't know if that is something in God's design for my life. Sometimes, it is really hard for me. I am blessed to have three people close to me with little ones. I can at least get a mommy fix and they have someone who is more than willing to help out when they need a break.

New Baby!

I am so thrilled to announce the birth of Austen Scott Parker. He was born at 7:54 am on April 26, 2008. He weighed 7lbs, 5 oz. and was 19 inches long. While it took a while for him to decide to enter the world after his mom was initially induced, once he made the decision, he came quickly. Mom and baby are both healthy and doing well. Outside the sleep disruptions, the family is doing great! I have some pictures below of this new little guy.