More Babies and God's Blessings

I had great fun over Memorial Day, because I got to see my friends Dawn and Lyndsey and play with their little boys. I had so much fun being around them, their husbands and family, and of course, their baby boys. I hadn't seen Austen in about 2 weeks and it is amazing how much he has grown. It's been even longer since I saw Jackson and he keeps getting bigger, too. I am so thankful that both of my friends have time to be mom's and not worry about hurrying back to the workplace. This is such a treasured time and they do grow and change fast!

Being around them makes me long for a family of my own. It was so nice to hold them, help them to feel safe, and ease their crying. I don't know about poopy diapers, yet, but I suppose if they are my own child's, I wouldn't mind. I actually looked online at a potential online dating service. A part of me thinks I'm feeling really desperate. But, that is how Dawn met Scott and he is an amazing guy. Both Dawn and Lyndsey found amazing men to be their husbands. I hope I will have that blessing in my life (preferably sooner rather then later) someday.

Work continues to be challenging. I have experienced several anxiety attacks this week from feeling so overwhelmed. I would like to blame part of it on hormones. I feel more sane today, but we will see how long it lasts. Right now, I am in bed on the computer (obviously, if I am blogging) and my boys are taking naps. Agape is in the chair by the desk and Dante is laying next to me. I worked out in my garden this afternoon after I got home. I mowed the front lawn (YUCK!) and weeded (another YUCK!), but it makes everything look so pretty. It was really windy this afternoon and between the wind and sweat, I had to take a shower. Now I smell like Arbonne's Unwind, which if you've never smelled before, you are missing out. I've been enjoying cheese and crackers with wine, too. Overall, I feel this was a satisfactory day. I feel a sense of calm, which is always welcome.

Whenever I feel this good inside, I always think to thank God for his many blessings. I cherish these moments as they don't occur too often in life. It's so easy to get busy and caught up in things that I forget to thank God for the little things - things like a garden, my cats, a warm bed, a good glass of wine, and air conditioning when the wind makes it impossible for your allergies to stay under control. It's times like these that I think about all God has done for me and I am in awe. There is a song that Aaron Shust sings called "My Savior, My God" that puts life into perspective. He sings, "That He would leave His place on high. And come for sinful man to die". I am overwhelmed at the thought of a great prince, leaving his kingdom to sacrifice himself so that I too, can become a princess in that kingdom. There is nothing special about me that would make him want to share his kingdom with me, but he does it anyway. He does it because he loves me, even though I don't deserve it. WOW! God's love for me, for all of us, is so amazing and incomprehensible. We rarely love someone without strings attached. We often can't tolerate it when a person keeps wronging us again and again. We can only stand betrayal so many times before we wash out hands of a person. Yet, God takes us back time and time again and he keeps loving us, even though we betray him, we curse him, we flaunt other lovers in front of him. I don't get it, but I am thankful for it.

These are the rest of the lyrics to the song by Aaron Shust, "My Savior, My God"

I am not skilled to understand

What God has willed, what God has planned

I only know at His right hand

Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed

Christ died to save me; this I read

And in my heart I find a need

Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high

And come for sinful man to die

You count it strange, so once did I

Before I knew my Savior

Chorus:

My Savior loves, My Savior lives

My Savior's always there for me

My God: He was, my God; He is

My God is always gonna be

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring

My strength, my solace from this spring;

That He who lives to be my King

Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high

And come for sinful man to die

You count it strange, so once did I

Before I knew my Savior

Chorus:
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be
My Savior loves, My Savior lives

My Savior's always there for me

My God: He was, my God; He is

My God is always gonna be